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Salt Lake Temple

9/26/2022

7 Comments

 
Picture
Sealed in the Salt Lake Temple

I was sealed to my sweetheart in the Salt Lake Temple on a beautiful spring morning a number of years ago.  I was 27 at the time (which felt ancient in BYU's culture).  But the wait made it all the sweeter.

It had rained earlier in the morning but by the time we exited the temple for our wedding pictures the skies had cleared and the sun shone happily upon our wedding party.

I love the temple.  Partly because I love religious rituals; there's something I find attractive in symbolic clothing, brass door knobs and stained glass windows, soft carpets and crystal chandeliers.

Maybe that's why I love attending Catholic Mass with all the symbolism, Latin and pageantry (in a former life I must have been a monk).

But it's also the reason, I think, that it breaks my heart whenever I read Jesus's lament over Jerusalem and over the people he loved.  They were blinded by their "religion" in the shadow of the physical temple ― to the point they failed to see the Living Temple of God standing right in front of them!

   O Jerusalem, Jerusalem,
   thou that killest the prophets,
   and stonest them which are sent
   unto thee, how often
   would I have gathered thy children
   together, even as a hen gathereth
   her chickens under her wings,
   and ye would not!

   Behold, your house is left
   unto you desolate.


(Matt. 23:37-38)

How ironic they cast stones at the Chief Cornerstone.
Picture
Rough Weekend

It was a rough weekend (but at least my football team won).  

I went to Church and spoke too plainly, perhaps, for my audience.

I forget sometimes that the members of my ward family don't have the same context as I do for my comments.  I am apt to deliver too many punch lines without warming them up sufficiently first.

And so it was I found myself in Elders Quorum putting my foot in my mouth again, sharing some of my heart-felt feelings.

As we left Church, my wife turned to me and said, "Oh no.  What did you do now?"

Nothing, really.  I just made a few observations about the Church and Babylon, that's all, and how Christ is enough and why do we bury Him under the law (which we are currently calling "the covenant path")?  I think at one point I may have exclaimed something about being uncircumcised (figuratively, of course).

Well, for those of you who read this blog, you would have found it old-hat.  

As Rob Smith said to those who attend Church:

"Are you allowing God to flow as much light through you as he can?  You are behind enemy lines. . . . Are you shining the light God has given you, or are you letting them inject their darkness into you? 

"Say and do what you imagine Jesus would say and do if he were in your place. . . . You need to speak these things into being, and then he will give you more.

"You see, the problem is not that you are still going to church or that you still have churchy friends.  The problem is you are only still allowed to go to church, and still only have church friends, because you haven't said what you know Jesus would say in your place with these people.  You have kept your mouth shut, because you were afraid of losing friends or getting kicked out of the synagogue.

"Don't hold back.  Share the ideas.  Post the quotes.  Share what the Holy Ghost tells you to say.  Do what the Holy Ghost tells you to do.  Do not be ashamed of God, or he will be ashamed of you (Mark 8:38).  Do not fear them cutting you off.  When light is revealed, there are only two reactions: to move closer to God or further away.  You cannot move closer to God without moving further away from those who do not do the same.

"Consider what it means to be 'valiant in the testimony of Christ' and why it is necessary (D&C 76:79).  Consider what it means 'to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death' (Mosiah 18:9).  You have been given what to say. What will you do about it?"

(Rob Smith, "Use Your Position to Share Truth Until They Cut You Off," September 12, 2022, Upward Though blog)
Picture
Too Christian for my Ward?

After Elders Quorum as we were putting up chairs in the Cultural Hall, I remarked to my friend, "I don't know.  Maybe I'm just too Christian to fit in at Church?"

It's ironic, I know.  But in my experience our meetings place greater emphasis on following the Prophet than on following Christ.

Let's see: on the one hand we have Christ who literally redeemed us from hell, and on the other hand we have the Prophet telling us to:

   (1) pray using only "thee and thou" language;

   (2) don't say "atonement" alone but refer to it as Christ's atonement;

   (3) don't use the term "free will";

   (4) don't use the term "unconditional love" because there's no such thing; and

   (4) be "passionate" about censoring the nickname "Mormon."

   See any difference between them?

So why is our gaze fixed on the Prophet instead of being single to the glory of God?  I cannot explain it.  I do not understand it.

What's funny is the quote the EQ instructor was sharing that elicited my comments was from Elder Jorg Klebingat, who said:

"Messengers of God who teach 'inconvenient' truths are often dismissed.  Even the Savior Himself was called 'a man gluttonous, and a winebibber,' accused of disturbing public sentiment and being divisive."

(Jorg Klebingat, "Valiant Discipleship in the Latter Days," April 2022 General Conference; and yes, for you astute readers, this was the second time we had a priesthood lesson on this talk.)

I like that quote.  I like it so much I actually tried putting into practice yesterday, modeling it in front of my quorum, by speaking "inconvenient truths" about ourselves rather than applying it to all the other "sinners" out there.

Well, guess what?  They didn't want to hear any inconvenient truths spoken about ourselves or the Church from some Joe-Shmoe in the back row. 

Instead, their comments about this quote involved (1) gays; (2) transgendered people; and the (3) "woke agenda."

I am not kidding!  Consider the ramifications of what I am saying.  In a Christian meeting discussing "valiant discipleship," my quorum's go-to was to bash sexual minorities ― which was perhaps the most un-disciple-ish thing we could do, and thereby proving my point.

   Love one another.
   By this shall all men know
   that ye are my disciples
   if ye have love one to another
   [unless the person is gay
   or transgendered or woke:
   in which case you are justified
   in not loving them.]

(John 13:34-35, EQ Ed.) 

When did the gospel become all about, and reduced to, enforcing a sexual purity culture?

Yes, chastity is important.  But do you know what is an even bigger deal?

   Christ's grace.

(Is it strange how fixated we are on physical purity when we're not nearly as concerned about the spiritual infidelity of mixing the gospel with Mammon?  The Church is full of spiritual STD's and yet we're going to stand here and point the finger at Mary Magdalene?) 

We can either follow Jesus Christ who told Peter to "put up thy sword" (Matt. 26:52) or we can be the ones to cast the first stone (which we now call "drawing our muskets").
Picture
Of Publicans and Pharisees

After I said my spiel, the Elders and High Priests in my quorum offered several opposing viewpoints to mine (which I appreciated actually because it takes guts to speak up in Church with anything other than the usual answers).

Nobody said, "Tim, can you explain why you feel tithing is a lesser law that is being used as a tool of priestcraft and extortion, so we may better understand where you're coming from?"

Instead, they became angry and offended.  The brethren rebutted my comments.  "Tim, I helped a single sister move yesterday with others from this quorum," one said, "so I know we have the love of Christ and the Church is true."

I can fairly summarize their rebuttals as follows (which also happens to reflect the testimonies in Fast and Testimony Meeting I listened to during the previous hour):

   God, we thank thee,
   that we are not as other men are,
   extortioners, unjust, adulterers,
   or even as [our poor
   misguided brother Tim].

   We fast twice in the week,
   and we give tithes of all
   that we possess.


(Luke 18:11-12)

​   Amen.
​
[For more on this parable, see Clark Burt's "The Pharisee and the Publican" on his blog.]
Picture
And so this morning, with a bit of a heavy heart, I wrote this personal lament as a prayer, a plea, a petition.

SALT LAKE TEMPLE

​     And Jesus said,
     See ye this temple?
     There shall not be left
     one stone upon another
     that shall not be thrown down.
 
     (Matthew 24:2)
 
You said no stone
unturned
 
each one thrown
an insult
 
I feel it
 
    the stone’s weight upon my chest
 
         disarray and destruction
 
    a sense of predation
    before the plunge
 
I feel it
 
    the rejection of friends
 
    serenity crumbling
 
         granules of grief
         deep in my bowels
  
     a stone of stumbling
     the ruin of this House
 
. . .
 
    The shattered stone
    I see was necessary
    for You to recreate
    from the rubble
    a new dwelling
    for your Glory

          I feel it now

    large enough for
                                Us.
UPDATE: September 28, 2022

After I posted this, Clark Burt made a comment which I wanted to include here because it was very insightful, and it showed me how immature I still am (in my defense, didn't Jesus tell us to be like little children?).  

Clark Burt:

My friend Mike once had a dream after an experience similar to yours. In his dream he saw people who had oil all over them and they were upset because it was messy and they couldn't wipe it off. He realized that the oil was light and truth for the virgins' lamps, but his Quorum members were not ready to receive so much light and truth. Sometimes we give them too much and it shouldn't surprise us if it gets messy. I have found also that sometimes it is better received (by one or two) if it is said by Nephi, Alma, Paul or Christ. Even Nephi was told to stop because he was saying too much. So what did he do? He let Isaiah say it. So I would not completely agree with Rob Smith. The word of God used as the Spirit dictates is much more effective in that it quiets the crowd so to speak and bears witness at the same time. And while not received by all because of ignorance, there will usually be one or two who hear it. Once from a comment by one of the quorum, I knew he heard and sent him a text with a few more scripture references. His response was all I needed.

I can feel your frustration, anger and disappointment, but with the exception of a few who do hear, will always be there. I do not agree with Smith that you be kicked out of the synagogue. Use the word of God as the sword it is. Let it judge them.

Your post moved me as you can tell from my comments and made me angry and sad that your quorum does not know what a gift God has given them. But it is no surprise either.

My Response:

​Clark, what a wonderful point you make about letting the Lord speak; it reminded me of Mormon, who said, "And I did endeavor to preach unto this people, but my mouth was shut, and I was forbidden that I should preach unto them . . . . But I did remain among them, but I was forbidden to preach unto them" (Mormon 1:17).

I see the wisdom in your words; the best way is to let the Lord speak through his scriptures and allow the Holy Ghost to fill in the blanks for the listeners.

This blog is therapeutic for me because it helps me to draw out my agitation and negativity on paper so I can process it and dismiss it. I'm much healthier now than I was when I used to keep it bottled in! You're a good example of achieving the "zen" I seek.

I will do better. Next time I will pause and try to think of a scripture that might convey the idea before getting carried away. Thank you! Tim
7 Comments
Clark Burt
9/28/2022 09:02:03 am

My friend Mike once had a dream after an experience similar to yours. In his dream he saw people who had oil all over them and they were upset because it was messy and they couldn't wipe it off. He realized that the oil was light and truth for the virgins' lamps, but his Quorum members were not ready to receive so much light and truth. Sometimes we give them too much and it shouldn't surprise us if it gets messy. I have found also that sometimes it is better received (by one or two) if it is said by Nephi, Alma, Paul or Christ. Even Nephi was told to stop because he was saying too much. So what did he do? He let Isaiah say it. So I would not completely agree with Rob Smith. The word of God used as the Spirit dictates is much more effective in that it quiets the crowd so to speak and bears witness at the same time. And while not received by all because of ignorance, there will usually be one or two who hear it. Once from a comment by one of the quorum, I knew he heard and sent him a text with a few more scripture references. His response was all I needed.

I can feel your frustration, anger and disappointment, but with the exception of a few who do hear, will always be there. I do not agree with Smith that you be kicked out of the synagogue. Use the word of God as the sword it is. Let it judge them.

Your post moved me as you can tell from my comments and made me angry and sad that your quorum does not know what a gift God has given them. But it is no surprise either.

Reply
Tim Merrill
9/28/2022 10:06:15 am

Clark, what a wonderful point you make about letting the Lord speak; it reminded me of Mormon, who said, "And I did endeavor to preach unto this people, but my mouth was shut, and I was forbidden that I should preach unto them . . . . But I did remain among them, but I was forbidden to preach unto them" (Mormon 1:17).

I see the wisdom in your words; the best way is to let the Lord speak through his scriptures and allow the Holy Ghost to fill in the blanks for the listeners.

This blog is therapeutic for me because it helps me to draw out my agitation and negativity on paper so I can process it and dismiss it. I'm much healthier now than I was when I used to keep it bottled in! You're a good example of achieving the "zen" I seek.

I will do better. Next time I will pause and try to think of a scripture that might convey the idea before getting carried away. Thank you! Tim

Reply
Clark Burt
9/28/2022 09:23:17 am

Me again with this:

"For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift."

Reply
Dan Burnside
10/26/2022 12:50:49 pm

I was sad to see that you didn't publish my comment warning about Rob Smith. I think having the option to post a comment and then censoring what you don't agree with leaves the blog comment option near worthless, don't you think?

This kind of censoring reminds me of what the church has done when they come across something that disagrees with their narrative. And don't get me started on the media censoring the stories we hear. I expected greater wisdom from you though.

My recommendation is to publish all the comments so that it gives your readers the opportunity to see alternative opinions (or facts) and the opportunity for you to either 1. see other truths or 2. rebuttal what you disagree with. Otherwise, do like Rob Smith who doesn't like to be confronted with anyone that disagrees with him, and remove the option to comment on your blog. Just my two cents.

Cheers

Reply
Tim Merrill
10/26/2022 01:23:05 pm

Hi Dan:

Sorry for the confusion but I haven't deleted any comments (everyone's been very thoughtful and civil thus far, so they post automatically; I don't screen them). Your previous comment must not have made it through the Captcha or something (I have gone through all my notices and also the data on Owl of the Desert and can't find anything with your name until this comment).

But welcome!

I am glad you're here and part of the conversation. I am sorry you felt like you were censored or contradicted.

I would love to know what you said previously, so feel free to try again. Thanks, Tim

Reply
Dan Burnside
10/28/2022 01:13:25 pm

Thanks for letting me know that. Not sure why it didn't come through.

What I said was that I agree with what Clark said. Rob's council to show ones devotion by getting kicked out of church only reveals where Rob's relationship with the Lord is at.

Rob said, "You cannot move closer to God without moving further away from those who do not do the same." This is typical of Rob and the way he views the world and interacts with others. His council lacks the main ingredient - to seek the Father's will and do it.

I have met people who have been out of the church for years and the Lord told them to return. I have met devout members who are being told by the Lord to leave the church. And I have found many in-between who are seeking the Lord and waiting patiently until they are given direction as to what to do next.

The most important thing we can do, which goes contrary to what Rob is counseling, is to:

1. Seek God's will and then
2. Have the courage to DO it.

I have wanted nothing more than to stop going to church, but that isn't what the spirit has told me I need to do at this time. And since I am wholly invested in doing His will, I wait upon the Lord.

I express caution against listening to or reading from Rob Smith because as someone who has known him personally, there are multiple red flags. Rob continues to be a devout believer in polygamy. For all the interactions he says he has had with the Lord, it is odd that he wouldn't have asked Jesus directly His thoughts on the matter.

Rob has a preoccupation with young women, as evidenced by his removal from University of Montana for the sexualized things he posted about women on his blog (I would refer you to those posts he made but he deleted them all). He has encouraged men to marry much younger and less intelligent women than themselves to increase the odds of success for their marriage (wish I was joking). He says to women that if they can't control their tongue then they can't control how much they eat and will get overweight, and so on (yes, it's true for all of us - but from all the interactions he says he's had with the Lord, why is THAT the council that is coming out of HIS mouth...)

After reading your post I went back to Rob's website and saw that he is still interested in offering advice to younger women and does so in a 'fatherly' way. Having known Rob I can say that he isn't interested in giving fatherly advice. If you ask him about single mothers he has helped in the past you will find that there were two, in particular, that he payed special attention to helping personally. One conversation with either of them will reveal he had other motives. Rob's own wife has not seen the Lord (not trying to be unkind here - only attempting to point out the obvious which is that he persistently councils so many on how to see the Lord but isn't able to help his own family...), etc.

I don't like to speak critically of anyone. But I will absolutely warn others about people that I feel are narcissistical and predatory in their motives, like Rob Smith.

Here is a website that the University used to try to compile some of the posts in question:

https://firerobsmith.wixsite.com/firerobsmith

Tim Merrill
10/30/2022 01:35:30 pm

Dan:

I think your approach to discipleship is spot on, to "seek the Fathers will and do it." I liked your two step formula:

1. Seek God's will and then
2. Have the courage to DO it.

It reminded me of the following scripture:

"I have given unto you my gospel, and this is the gospel which I have given unto you—that I came into the world to do the will of my Father, because my Father sent me" (3 Nephi 27:13).

And also:

"And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him" (John 8:29).

In regards to Church attendance, I agree it is something each person needs the guidance of the Spirit to decide. After all, the Lord led Lehi and his family away from Jerusalem, while Jeremiah was to remain behind.

Best wishes, Tim




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