A Grief Observed

   When we two parted
   In silence and tears,
   Half broken-hearted
   To sever for years,
   Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
   Colder thy kiss;
   Truly that hour foretold
   Sorrow to this​

   ― Lord Byron, "When We Two Parted"
   
I share a bit of the poet’s melancholy (but I like to think of it as having a "broken heart and contrite spirit").  And yet I walk with the Lord, how can that be?

Well, as surprising as it sounds (seeing as "men are that they might have joy"), the Savior was not all wine-and-wedding-feasts; He was "a man of sorrows" like us (Isaiah 53:3).

But wait, how can God be sad?  Isn't sadness something that belongs in the telestial world; something caused by sin and sickness and loss?  What does God have to be sad about?

   In Rama was there a voice heard,
   lamentation, and weeping,
   and great mourning,
   Rachel weeping for her children,
   and would not be comforted,
   because they are not.

(Matt. 2:18)

Tell me, how do we reconcile Christ telling us to "be of good cheer" (John 16:33) while He Himself weeps (Luke 19:41)?

Can anyone explain how God can possess a "fulness of joy" (D&C 93:33) and yet shed tears upon Mount Zion?

   And Enoch said unto the Lord:
   How is it that thou canst weep,
   seeing thou art holy, 
   and from all eternity
   to all eternity?

(Moses 7:29)

I want to suggest joy is not the absence of sorrow, but the sanctifying of it.

​I say: do not bury your grief, but baptize it in Christ's tears.

A Stone of Suffering

   The Assyrian came down like the wolf on the fold,
   And his cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold;
   And the sheen of their spears was like stars on the sea,
   When the blue wave rolls nightly on deep Galilee.

  ― Lord Byron, "The Destruction of Sennacherib"

Grief is a rock.  It is a weight in water, solid and slippery.  At times an anchor, it can become a millstone, breath-crushing.

Our tears ― as if willing the river currents to wash it away ― are helpless against its weight.  It sits there, unmoved; must we live forever with this pain?

But what if this stone of grief was not an intruder, not an unwelcome guest?  What if it was a piece of ourselves yearning for Christ's baptismal blood, longing to be whole again?

For if grief arises from loss, then joy arises from reunion with what was lost.  This was the doctrine of the Kingdom that Christ taught in the Gospels.

   And the Pharisees and scribes
   murmured, saying,
   This man receiveth sinners.

   And he spake this parable
   unto them, saying,
   What woman having ten pieces
   of silver, if she lose one piece,
   doth not light a candle,
   and sweep the house,
   and seek diligently till she find it?

   And when she hath found it,
   she calleth her friends
   and her neighbours together,
   saying, Rejoice with me;
   for I have found the piece
   which I had lost.

(Luke 15:2-3, 8-9)

All of us ache for what we've lost; we each carry wounds as real as Christ's stigmata.  Alma invited us to enter into Gethsemane's grief when he said:​

​   Are ye willing to mourn
   with those who mourn?

(Mosiah 18:9)

Perhaps it is here, here in shared mourning, that we most fully and divinely "stand as witnesses of God" (Mosiah 18:9).

The Song of Moses

​   I had a dream, which was not all a dream.
   The bright sun was extinguish’d, and the stars
   Did wander darkling in the eternal space,
   Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth
   Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air;
   Morn came and went—and came, and brought no day

   ― Lord Byron, "Darkness"
​
Grief can feel like bondage; we can easily feel trapped by its anguish.

Deuteronomy 32 is called the "Song of Moses."  It contains the words of a hymn given by God for Moses to teach to the children of Israel (I suspect when Alma asked the Nephites if they could "sing the song of redeeming love" (Alma 5:26), he was alluding to this Song).  The Song of Moses describes God's deliverance of Israel from bondage.

Popcorn popping on the apricot tree is cute, but Moses' Song prepared the people for something far greater: to receive the "Blessing of Moses" (which comes in chapter 33).

   Hear, O earth,
   the words of my mouth

(Deut. 32:1)

As astounding as it sounds, God speaks!  All truth emerges from a single spring of pure water.  God's jaw is not set; His tongue is a river of flowing knowledge; His lips curve as the ends of the rainbow, parting the windows of heaven with a smile.

The sound of His voice is the beginning of wisdom; His word is the balm our grief seeks.

God sings (Matt. 26:30)!  The wind carries His voice to the nether-reaches of the vineyard that have long lain in drought, parched for His living word:

   My doctrine shall drop
   as rain,
   my speech shall distil
   as the dew

(Deut. 32:2)

Did you notice He said His doctrine "drops like rain"?  Remember, the Father sends forth rain upon the just as well as the unjust (Matt. 5:45).

But I want to focus on the next part: dew.  Rain falls from above, but dew gathers from below.

You see, grief is best succored by dew: by neighbors and friends who comfort us in our dark night of the soul.  Sure, I would love to dance in the evening rain with you, splashing in the puddles and laughing as we are soaked in God's love, but let's not dismiss the power of the morning dew that is drawn from the air around us, so faint and fleeting, and yet critical for life in the desert.  Cactus and yucca plants could not survive without dew.

And Moses says, God's speech is distilled.  His word is condensed into sound doctrine.  To distill means "to purify; to extract the essential meaning or most important aspects of."

Alcohol, for example, is distilled through a process that removes the impurities from the liquid through vaporization.  God's word distils in our minds and hearts as the impurities of the world are stripped away.

But even more importantly, God's love is distilled in the love we show one another.

The Doctrine of the Rock

​   She walks in beauty, like the night
   Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
   And all that’s best of dark and bright
   Meet in her aspect and her eyes

   ― Lord Byron, "She Walks in Beauty"

Returning to Moses' Song, the entire thing is spun around an uncommon theme:

   God is the Rock.

(Deut. 32:4)

The idea of God being "the Rock" is old news to us today, who are inured in imagery from the Book of Psalms and have been raised with Helaman 5:12.  But imagine how strange that must have sounded to Moses' people, who had been wandering around the rocky wilderness; rocks were not special.
​
Isn't it curious that Moses compares God to, of all things, an inanimate rock (as opposed to something fertile)?

Rocks don't reproduce, they don't move, they aren't particularly pretty.  They're hard and heavy.

Everyone comments on the lilies of the valley, the darling sparrows, but who pays attention to the rocks lying on the ground?  Farmers remove rocks from their soil to improve their harvest.  Aside from geologists, who gives rocks a second thought?

So why a rock?  Well, rocks have something like nothing else does: time.

I mean, we measure the age of rocks in geological time.  Imagine their patience!  Nothing has the long-suffering of rocks.  They've seen it all.  They've endured it all.  Long after the Redwoods are gone and the seas have gone dry, the rocks shall remain.

The oldest known rock we've discovered on earth is the mineral zircon, found in Australia in the continental crust (about 4 billion years old).  O, what wonders the rocks must have witnessed since the dawning of creation!  If only they could shout out (Luke 19:40).

   All his ways are just:
   a God of truth

As the Ephod demonstrated, worn by Israel's high priest, God is symbolized as a living Crystal, a breathing Stone ― a Seer Stone who has endured worlds without number, beyond all horizons, reaching into the fathomless great deep of eternity having overcome all things.  Like cut diamond.

How?  How did Christ persist amidst all the opposition?  How did He press forward in faith when He experienced the griefs and sorrows of all humankind?

The answer, of course, is the essence of the Doctrine of Christ, which is distilled upon the Stone of Israel (D&C 50:44).  It is the way love expands and binds, as Christ showed us; it is the reason we believe in Him and trust in Him to share and bear our burdens:

   Charity suffereth long [and]
   beareth all things,
   believeth all things,
   hopeth all things,
   endureth all things.

(1 Cor. 13:4, 7)

There is no end, neither beginning, to His seeking what was lost; His way is One Eternal Round (D&C 3:2).

He is our Rock.

"Thou Art Waxen Fat"

   The people take their fill of recreation,
   And buy repentance, ere they grow devout,
   However high their rank, or low their station,
   With fiddling, feasting, dancing, drinking, masking,
   And other things which may be had for asking

   ― Lord Byron, "Beppo"

A lot of moss and slime has grown over the Rock.  Today we reside in a doctrinal landscape that has spawned a progeny of precepts and manmade commandments that have departed from the simplicity of Christ's given-gospel, which was to love one another as He loved us.

A litany of neo-doctrines clutter our souls and our churches.  Finding the Rock is not easy when we stand in a gravel yard.

As a recovering Pharisee, I know all about legalistic hoops and loopholes, theologies that justify unloving behavior.  But the older I get the simpler my faith becomes.

   I will declare unto you
   my doctrine.
   And this is my doctrine,
   and it is the doctrine
   which the Father hath given me.

   And I bear record
   that the Father
   commandeth all men,
   everywhere, to repent
   and believe in me.

   And whoso believe in me,
   and is baptized,
   the same shall be saved;
   and they are they who shall
   inherit the kingdom of God.

(3 Nephi 11:21-33)

That's it.  But not content to live lovingly, we have "added" to His doctrine to the point:

​   They have corrupted
   themselves;
   his children are a perverse
   and a crooked generation

(Deut. 32:5)

How did we corrupt His pure religion; how have we transformed His sound doctrine?

   1.  Perverse: showing a deliberate and obstinate desire to behave in a way that is unreasonable and unacceptable, often in spite of the consequences; to turn away from that which is right or good.

   2.  Crooked: bent or twisted out of shape or place.

Jesus used the adjective "perverse" when His disciples were unable to cast out an evil spirit from a young boy, alluding to this verse from Deuteronomy, when He said:

   O faithless and perverse
   generation.  How long
   shall I be with you?

(Luke 9:41)

Instead of crossing over to minister in Christ's power to the sinful and sorrowful, we decry their sinfulness and blame their sorrow on themselves.

   Thou art grown thick,
   thou art covered with fatness;
   then he forsook God
   which made him.

(Deut. 32:15)  

Because we have written-off what was lost rather than seeking after it (or worse, patronizing them with a leash of rules to demonstrate their bona-fides in order to "deserve" our fellowship), we have became "children in whom is no faith" (Deut. 32:20).

Where is mercy?  Where is faith?  That's the issue: the lack of it.

   For they [Israel] are a nation
   void of counsel,
   neither is there any
   understanding in them.
   For their grapes
   are grapes of gall,
   their clusters are bitter.

(Deut. 32:28, 32)

I've heard people say, sadly, "there is no hate like Mormon love."  Grapes of gall, indeed.  You see the problem we face, then: we have replaced the redeeming blood of Christ (the holy wine) with the "wine [that] is the poison of dragons" (Deut. 32:33).  We have drunk our own self-righteousness as if imbibing "the cruel venom of asps" (Deut. 32:33), believing ourselves worthy and others unworthy.

We have exchanged the living Rock for the lifeless granite stone that adorns our buildings, believing its walls serve as a fortress to keep out the riffraff, rather than the unfailing love of our Father which invites them in.

"He will be merciful unto his people"

Don't be discouraged: Christ has shown us a better Way: the way of faith and mercy that winds its way through repentance towards the baptisms of earth and heaven, water and flint, unto the resting place of Mount Carmel, where our grief shall be consumed in the eternal bosom of God that unites all things (D&C 88:13).

   How beautiful
   upon the mountains
​   are the feet of those
   that bring glad tidings
   of good things,
   and that say unto Zion:
   Behold, thy God reigneth!

   As the dews of Carmel,
   so shall the knowledge of God
   descend upon them!

(D&C 128:19)

Be the dew.  God shall provide the rain upon the just and the unjust (Matt. 5:45).  Be the dew to the just and (especially) to the unjust.

Then, Christ says, shall we "be the children of your Father which is in heaven" (Matt. 5:45).

   As an eagle stirreth up her nest
   and fluttereth over her young,
   and spreadeth abroad
   her wings, and taketh them
   and beareth them on her wings:
   so the Lord alone did lead him.

(Deut. 32:11-12)

Who can reach the eaglet's nest atop the mountainside?  Can badger climb, or foxes hunt, upon the cliffs where eagles perch?

Who else can teach the young eagles to soar upon the clouds, and teach them the way of the wind and to sail upon its celestial currents, but their Mother?

As absurd as it would be for an eagle to take lessons in flying from a ferret, so too there is none who can lead us to salvation but Christ, whose love raises us in the resurrection of healing wings.

Be like Him.  Dew the works of our Father.

Plain and Precious
a poem

​     I say unto you,
     That God is able of these stones
     to raise up children unto Abraham.

          ― Luke 3:8

​Is the stone
     or seer
 
the instrument
manifesting
     inappreciable things
     to us
plainly?
 
          (If stone,
              why seer?
          If seer,
              why stone?)
 
What makes rock
     precious
           (does God esteem
           atoms in carbon
           hardened into diamond 
      more than those of feldspar
      olivine or quartz)?
 
Seers are peters
    polished
from plain folk
     (common as river rock)
 
seeking the Inappreciable
     in ordinary stoneship:
 
     Seeing in plainness
          preciousness
          not
          presupposed. 

Belle 

There is one aspect of Zion that rarely (if ever) gets discussed: her beauty.

   For Zion must increase
   in beauty.

(D&C 82:14)

What does the Lord find "beautiful?"

Is He referring to an aesthetic quality (the attractiveness of Zion)?  Does the Lord care about Zion's appearance?  Does He want her to look like a Super Model and be a Size-Zero?

The fact that Zion must "increase" in beauty shows it is something that can grow; she gains greater beauty with maturity and motherhood. 

The reason I think we shouldn't equate "beauty" with attractiveness is because everyone's aesthetic is subjective, depending on their culture, upbringing, and personal tastes.

For example, if I asked 100 of you what is the most "beautiful" song ever written, I would probably get 100 different answers (for the record, the correct answer is Oh Shenandoah).

I find it curious that the only time Jesus ever commented on the beauty of something, it was as an insult.

   For ye are like
   unto whited sepulchres,
   which indeed appear beautiful
   outward, but are within
   full of dead men’s bones.

(Matt. 23:27)

Contrast the outward-beauty of the Pharisees with the lackluster appeal of Jesus, of whom Isaiah wrote:

   When we shall see him,
   there is no beauty
   that we should desire him.

(Isaiah 53:2)

As for Zion's physical appearance, the scriptures don't paint a pretty picture.  They say Zion shall become "very great, and very terrible" (D&C 97:18) ― and her champion shall be shockingly disfigured and "marred" (Isaiah 52:14).

Zion has never been the belle of the ball.

"Holy Beauty, Batman!"

​Plato idealized beauty.  He often described what is "good" in terms of what is beautiful.  In his Symposium, Plato argues that beauty (like love) evokes "a longing for immortality."

King David knew a thing or two about beauty, being the apple of the Lord's eye (Psalm 17:8).  David was described as "ruddy and of a fair countenance" (1 Sam. 17:42).  Even the oaf Goliath remarked on David's handsomeness; the NIV says:

   Goliath looked David over
   and saw that he was . . . 
   glowing with health
   and handsome.

(1 Sam. 17:42)

(A beautiful giant slayer and royalty and faithful?  David was the complete package.)

David gave us the key to unlock the divine secret of beauty years later, when he said:

   Give the Lord the glory
   due unto his name:
   bring an offering, and come:
   worship the Lord
   in the beauty of holiness.

(1 Chron. 16:29)

Here we find what the Lord finds "beautiful."  A thing becomes "beautiful" when it is filled with His holiness.

   For Zion must increase
   in beauty, and in holiness.

(D&C 82:14)

"Holiness" is a label we attribute to God without really understanding what it is.  "Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord of hosts" (Isaiah 6:3).  But what does it mean?

Buffalos and Bulls

​The Book of Revelation describes two "witnesses" (Rev. 11:3) who play an important role in God's plan:

   These are the two olive trees
   and the two candlesticks
   standing before
   the God of the earth.

(Rev. 11:4)

Here, John is drawing upon imagery from Zechariah, who had been shown by an angel:

   These are the two
   anointed ones,
   that stand by the Lord
   of the whole earth.

(Zech. 4:14)

These two types-of-Christ are given power over water, like Moses (Rev. 11:6), and over fire, like Elijah (Rev. 11:5).  Symbolism of water and fire bring to mind baptism.  From the ashes, beauty arises.  The Lord's Candlesticks provide His light again to Israel.

   - Two (so the law of witnesses is fulfilled)

   - Witnesses (what is their testimony?)

   - Olive Trees (trees are usually symbolic of families and lineages)

   - Candlesticks (in ancient times, offering light during nighttime)

   - Anointed Ones (remember, "Christ" in Greek means "the Anointed One")

   These two are come unto thee;
   who shall be sorry for thee?
   desolation and destruction
   and famine and sword:
   by whom shall I comfort thee?

(Isaiah 51:19)

Here we see Israel limping along after desolation and worse; and yet, the Lord remembers His promises.  Whom does He send?

   Thy sons have fainted,
   they lie at the head 
   of all the streets,
   as a wild bull in a net:
   they are full of the fury
   of the Lord.

(Isaiah 51:20)

The image of "wild bulls in a net" has always fascinated me.  Every time I go to the Rodeo and watch the bull riders, atop 2,000 pound bulls, I think of this verse.  These bulls will throw off the "net" of Israel's captivity.

Avraham Gileadi translates it, "Your children lie in a faint at the corner of every street, taken in a net like buffalo."  They're trapped.  They're constrained; but the Lord delivers them from bondage.

Notice the reference to "fury" in verse 20.  Jesus Christ drank the "fury" of God in Gethsemane to the last, bitter dregs.

That's what Christ's servants are anointed to do (see D&C 77:15).  It may not look pretty, but it is beautiful.

The Beast

There must be opposition in all things, and so we find two archetypical counterparts in Revelation that oppose the two Olive Trees: the Beast and False Prophet.

These two Anti-Candlesticks provide a false light (a black light, as it were).  They are christs themselves ― to be clear, they appear like Christ.

John compares to the Beast to a lamb, of all things: the comparison is rather shocking (since we consider Jesus to be the Lamb).

   Then I saw another beast
   coming up out of the earth,
   and he had two horns
   like a lamb.

(Rev. 13:11)

Remember, then, always: the Beast is beautiful.  It is soft, and makes you want to pet it.

This is how the Beast and his False Prophet "deceiveth" the world (Rev. 13:14) (despite the fact that every Evangelical in the Bible Belt has read the Left Behind book series, and is on the lookout).

Their power of deception lies in their beauty.  The Beast-slash-lamb and his prophet are able to appeal to the world by mimicking God's miracles and holiness (Rev. 13:13-14).

   I saw a woman sit
   upon a scarlet coloured beast,
   full of names of blasphemy....
   And the woman was arrayed
   in purple and scarlet colour,
   and decked with gold
   and precious stones and pearls,
   having a golden cup
   in her hand full of abominations
   and filthiness of her fornication.

(Rev. 17:3-4)

In contrast to the Mother of Holiness (Zion), we find the "Mother of Harlots," Babylon (Rev. 17:5).  But careful!  They are not easy to tell apart because (here's the important thing to understand) the Woman riding the Beast makes harlotry appear holy.

I repeat, the reason Babylon spreads is because we do not identify as Babylonians; we think we are enlarging Zion's borders, when in fact we are spreading Babylon's skirts.  We believe we are practicing holiness, when in reality our religious observances are harlotry in God's eyes.

How do we discern between the Beauty and the Beast, between the holiness of Zion and the harlotry of Babylon?

​   Love not the world,
   neither the things
   that are in the world.
   If any man love the world,
   the love of the Father
   is not in him.

   For all that is in the world,
   the lust of the flesh,
   and the lust of the eyes,
   and the pride of life,
   is not of the Father,
   but is of the world.

   And the world passeth away.

(1 John 2:15-17)