Those ignorant slobs
mores the pity
not that I wish to fat-shame anyone
but when they go around saying things like what is kale
with their terrible skin
lepers who can’t be bothered 
to Botox
can I help it?
 
Lord look at me
dressed in compression shorts
restricting carbs and shewbread
(I intermittently fast twice a week)

God
why didn’t you make me thin?
All this work working out to look so good
but I tire of all
     the sweating and running and hydrating
     and waxing and plucking and rinsing and powdering
     and shaving and clipping and brushing
     and moisturizing and make-upping
     and cinching and whitening and wearing
my righteousness―
 
     Oh well
you’re busy

shaping clay or what not
so I’ll be crunching my
love handles away
on this exercise machine
 
Yes, you will see me one day and say
 
    what a waist