​"Church representatives would neither confirm nor deny the veracity of the claim."
 
       ― Official church response

I’ve never heard a prophet
say if there are toilets
in heaven which seems a pretty
important detail to omit
but I heard someone say
resurrected bodies
are so efficient at digestion
the fish and honeycomb in Jesus’s gut
were incorporated without waste
which was a satisfactory explanation
I guess but I really don’t know
if they were making it up
because they couldn’t conceive
of toilets in the Celestial Kingdom
which may seem undignified
with effluent running beneath
the gold pavement
and I am worried because
while angels and gods have bowels
filled with compassion
what if one of us is caught up
to the third heaven
giving us quite a fright
and yet being mortals
the first thing we’ll do
is look for a toilet
and be too embarrassed
to inquire about the facilities
not wanting to look foolish
because the prophet never told us
 
    anyway if there are toilets
    for visiting guests
    please let us know
    and be sure to wash your hands
    because I heard
    angels are sticklers
    for hygiene