End-of-Year Wish

Testing the Limits

I've been lazy.  Purposefully lazy.  Over the holiday, I mean.

You see, at the beginning of my Christmas vacation I sat down and asked myself, "What should I do with my free time?"

And you know the answer that came?  "NOTHING."  

(Sadly I am the sort of person who has to make a To-Do List to tell himself, "No. 1: Do nothing.")

So that's what I've done for the past 10 days: nothing.  It's been really difficult.  Several times per day my mind has cycled through all of the "productive" things I should be doing (and no, I am not a workaholic; I just like feeling a sense of accomplishment).

But each time I've stopped myself, remembering, "I am doing something; nothing is something."

But our time has to be filled with something (there is no such thing as "nothing" unless you're in a coma).

So, adrift without any plans or checklists, I found my time being filled in unexpected ways ― like when my 10-year-old asked if I'd help him bake homemade coffee cake.  "Sure," I said, having nothing else to do.  How could I say no?  Or seeing my son playing the game Perfection on his own, I sat down and joined him.  Or spending several hours in the early morning (while the house slept) researching the rules of Mahjong to teach my daughter.

Hardest of all, I forced myself to sit through entire movies with my family without any distractions (this year: Home Alone and The Santa Clause).

Strangely, my family has said it has been one of the best holidays they can remember.  They've liked having me so . . . unplanned.  Listless?

So why am I ready to get back to work?

Hyper Much?

For some of us, there is nothing harder than to be told:

   Be still,
   and know
   that I am God.

(Psalms 46:10)

No, no; not that: there've got to be some spears around here needing sharpening; bows to break; cloth to mend; give us some laundry to do.

   Be still,
   and know
   that I AM
   God.

(D&C 101:16)

The fallen world is really a Godsend; all those noxious weeds need pulling!  Thank the Lord for that.  Bread just tastes better mixed with sweaty brows.  Forget the Manna.  "Please, just give me something to stay busy; put wood in my hand to whittle, let me move some rocks around or dig holes or something.  Anything!"

   Stand still
   and see
   the salvation
   of the Lord.

(Exodus 14:13)

​​"A day of rest?  I couldn't.  The bathroom toilet needs scrubbing!"  

   Stop,
   and stand still.

(D&C 5:34)

Wisdom​

​I wished.
     Not on a falling star
     (when a blink
     shapes doubt
     of what was
     or might have been)―
Will you
     promise
not to tell?     
     Wishes are secrets
     we cannot
forsake―
     perjuries of disbelief
     never giving
     more than they take.
     Neither was it a happy-birthday-to-  
you wish, spent absently
     on clapping smiles.  Remember,
a wish stretched
     beyond two
     becomes something
new.  Fragile, maybe―
     but stronger, too. 
     Not a throw-a-ruby-in-a-well wish, either 
     ―No, this was a full-blooded
Earth Wish: with lips like fountains
     flowing toward mountain gates
     through hidden paths and pillars―
     understanding―
     heartsome―
     waterful―
     rising, flooding . . . . It  
awaits an answer (can makers
     become grantors?)―
​
My mother said
     wishes make little
children of us all.
     
       God, I wish
       I knew
       how to Wish
       like you.

A Reader's Guide to the Poem "Wisdom"

   1.  Were you able to find the hidden wish in the poem?  (If not, search for the first word in the hanging indents to form a separate sentence.)

   2.  Who do the scriptures personify when they speak of "wisdom"?  Who is this poem written for, about, to?  What powers of creation do we ascribe to the mother?  Does some of the symbolism make more sense now?

   3.  To accomplish our greatest desires, can we do it alone, or must we rely upon others?  But doesn't the involvement of others give them the ability to help fulfill OR destroy our wishes?

   4.  What are the "perjuries of disbelief" we harbor?

   5.  Does God "wish"?  What does it mean that "there is nothing that the Lord thy God shall take in his heart to do but what he will do it" (Abraham 3:17)?