An Unconventional Christmas Carol

"Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart"

Merry Christmas, Owls.

I am still learning what it means that Christ gave us His heart (and why, the very next day, anybody would give it away).

But the older I get, the more I sense we are guilty of grossly underestimating Him; and His grace; and the heights and depths and breadth of His love (can we even begin to imagine what is possible with a God who loves us this much?).

So after the First Presidency's Christmas Devotional earlier this month, I had the idea to give my own Christmas message.  I wondered what to share this holiday season that could possibly express my faith in, and love for, our Savior.

Well, Elder Gong dressing up as Scrooge provided some inspiration.

(I would encourage you to read this post twice; the symbolism, I think, will become more meaningful the second time once you understand.)

And so, without further ado, I present:

An Unconventional Christmas Carol

Tonight we will be visited by three ghosts.

Please try keep an open mind.

Part 1: The Ghost of Christmas Past

SCENE: I am awoken in my bed; a ghostly visitor whisks me away in my bathrobe.  We stand before a battlefield in Western France.  Weary soldiers with old fashioned weapons dash by, not seeing us. 

This is not the France I recall from my mission; not the one I served in as a young man at the turn of the century.  This France looked horribly different.

Ghost:  Do you know where we are?

Me:  I believe this is Verdun.

Ghost:  Yes.  It is Christmastime 1918.

Me: [surveying the wreckage and carnage; my eyes beginning to water ― whether from the mustard gas or the heart-wrenching scene, I couldn't tell] There is nothing here that reminds me of Christmas.

Ghost: No?  Can you not see the hope that burns brightly in the hearts of these poor men?  Many of them have fought bravely the past ten months, on both sides of the battle.

Me: [quizzical]  Both sides?  I thought God was on the side of the Allies.  You know, on the side of truth and justice?

Ghost: [looking at me with a pitying expression, and pointing]  Look!

Me: [looking where the ghost pointed, through the smoke of cannon fire, along the Western Front covered in an eerie twilight at midday from the discharge of muskets and chemicals]  I see French and British soldiers in their dugouts; trenches with barbed wire covering the earthworks as far as my eyes can see; I see artillery and scorched fields; and [my stomach twisting] I see thousands of dead bodies lying between us and the German lines.

Ghost:  Look again!

Me: [looking again]  Ah, now I see there are angels descending from heaven and ascending, ministering to the souls of the wounded.  I see heavenly fire surrounding the boys [seeing them, they looked so young]; I see fear in their faces.

Ghost:  Yes.  And to whom are the angels ministering?

Me: [looking again, a third time]  Well, it looks like the angels are ministering to both the Germans and the Allies, in like measure.

Ghost:  That is right; for God's Spirit is upon all flesh.  In His eyes there are no lines, as you see them.

"There Are No lines As You See Them"

I awoke and sat up in my bed, pondering the ghost's cryptic statement.  He was gone.

   No lines?  What did that mean?

Wasn't there a line separating the righteous from the wicked; a gulf dividing goats from sheep?  Or did he mean God actually does send rain upon the just and unjust the same?

I thought, "Love is lineless."  I remembered something I had written in the poem Unveil:

// lines hold no meaning
between waters flowing //

I pictured a great body of water; there was no way to draw lines upon its surface.  I could feel the cohesion of water, its molecules bonded together.  Water was (and was always meant to be) One.

In my heart I felt the wave-like properties of water filling all the empty spaces it found, searching out and welcoming the spaces between, always returning to itself, whole.

Was the ghost trying to teach me that the body of Christ is, above all else, an ocean of indivisible love?

I wondered if too many of us had dug trenches (like at Verdun) in our relationships, erecting barbed-wire fences around our values and beliefs, sending our boys and girls to their deaths.

And for what?  An inch of soil?

How often had I, myself, drawn lines in my certitude and taken "sides," believing God was pleased, mistaking my intransigence for faithfulness?

Part 2: The Ghost of Christmas Present (Not Your Average Testimony Meeting)

I had barely fallen asleep when I was shaken awake by a second visitor.  This new ghost took my hand and transported me out of my bedroom without a word.

I found myself sitting on a wooden pew in the back of a room, surrounded by men and women dressed nicely.  A woman at the front spoke, and I listened to her testimony:

   "Jesus knows me, and Jesus understands me.  I mourn with all of you who mourn.

   "Many angelic visitors have come and communicated with me and even manifested themselves to me.  I know how wonderful heaven is, and I'm homesick for it every single day.

   "I know we all lived in heaven before we were born on earth.  I do not fear death, but I look forward to it.  My beautiful children rest safely this day in the arms of Jesus … and I look forward to the day when we are all reunited, and I too will rest in the arms of my Jesus."

Me: [feeling quite uncomfortable and underdressed, despite being invisible]  Why have you brought me here?

Ghost:  How do you feel?

Me:  Angry!

For this was not a testimony meeting; and we were not at church.  The ghost had brought me to a courtroom I recognized from the trial of convicted murderer Lori Vallow Daybell, and she was giving her statement at sentencing.

I scratched my head, wondering what we were doing there.  How could Lori Daybell say the things she did, so certain, after having committed such awful atrocities?  It made me sick to my stomach.

I remembered reading in the news that she had passed her competency tests to stand trial.  So she was not insane; she was not anymore "crazy" than the rest of us.

Yet, how could a "sane" person believe her children were "zombies" who had been possessed by evil spirits?  How could a mother view it as "a mercy" to kill her own children, believing they were already "dead" inside?

Me:  How can she talk about Jesus after what she's done? 

Ghost: [sadly]  Have you ever done evil?

Me: [defensively]  Well, I've never committed the unforgivable sin!

Ghost:  But have you ever been deceived?

Before I could respond, the ghost snapped her finger, vanishing.  I found myself back in my bedroom, alone.

I sat up in bed, sleep having fled for the night, thinking of all the harm people do in God's name ("Keep Sweet").

I felt terrible and hoped no more visitors would come; my heart couldn't take any more lessons for one night.

As I lay there, pondering the Ghost's question, I thought of how many times I had been mistaken; I mean, how many of us had been convinced that paying tithing to the Church was a sign of faith?  Or that it was righteous to judge a co-ed of being unworthy of our love for having two pairs of earrings?  Or had believed pre-1978 teaching that interracial marriage was wrong?  Or had accepted the 2015 Policy of Exclusion of children of gay parents as a revelation given by God?

I buried my head in my pillow and wept.

Part 3:  The Ghost of Christmas Future

I dried my eyes as my bedroom filled with a wondrous light.  A ghost sat at the foot of my bed.  This one was different; it was so glorious I could barely look upon it; I could not tell whether it was male or female.

Me: [apprehensively]  Spirit, show me no more!  I have had enough.  Why do you delight to torture me?

Ghost: [taking my hand]  This, I think, you will want to see.

I took its hand and its grip felt reassuring; I felt peace.  Suddenly we found ourselves standing at the bottom of the stairs of the Temple in downtown Salt Lake, its spires surrounded with cloven tongues of flame.

Music rang in the air as if all the bells on earth rejoiced and had awoken to greet Christmas morn.  A feeling of utter happiness seemed to grip the crowd pressed together on Temple Square, standing shoulder-to-shoulder, packing every inch.

Me:  What is happening, Spirit?  What is this?

Ghost: [smiling]  It is Christmas Eve!  In the year of our Lord 2031!

I heard the people break out in song, "O Come O Come Immanuel."  It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard; for although the music was sung in a minor key, every word was filled with exuberance.  My whole being shouted for joy.

One of the women nearest the Temple, standing near the top of the stairs, held a sheet of paper in her hand.  She read it out loud, tears on her cheeks, as the assembled peoples listened with rapture.  "To all members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints throughout all the world:  We, the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles declare . . . ."

Ghost:  Look!

​I looked and beheld the Temple doors open and a couple emerge, holding hands with fierce joy, having just been sealed.  To my surprise, they were both male.

Me: [confused]  Spirit, how is this possible?

Ghost: [amused]  Have you not read, and is it not written, that the Lord "denieth none that come unto him"? For God "inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen" (2 Nephi 26:33).

Me:  But surely that doesn't apply to the queer community . . . not to be contrary, just saying . . . I mean, what about the Plan of Salvation?

​Suddenly I remembered the lessons from the first two ghosts.

Ghost:  Love is to be treasured, whether it be between a man and a man, a man and a woman, or a woman and a woman; for in our Father’s house there are many mansions.  Thus it is said: what God hath joined let not man put asunder; for what He has sanctified bears no reproach.

Me: [skeptical]  Yeah, but . . . 

Ghost:  Is God a respecter of persons?  I say unto you, nay, but he that feareth Him and worketh righteousness is accepted of God.  As He counseled his servant Peter, so I counsel you: call no man impure or unclean.

Me:  Okay, but . . . 

Ghost: [joyfully]  Marriage is ordained of God, and shall He not honor the promises given to those who love and serve Him?  For has He uttered His word and have the hills not hearkened; or have the islands of the sea forgotten the voice of their Creator?  What do ye call Him? The Bridegroom; and who is His bride?  Even Zion, which is neither male nor female, but composed of those who are of one heart.

Me:  Sure, sure.  But what about the things the apostle Paul said about homosexuality in the New Testament?

Ghost:  [Exultant]  Hearken to the word of the Lord: for the lesser law given to the Levites regarding marriage was according to their faith, but I will show unto you a better way.  As concerning the things written by the apostle Paul regarding this thing, he spake according to his understanding as one having no commandment.  For thus saith the Lord, Do not eunuchs take hold of my everlasting covenant and enter into the kingdom of heaven (Isaiah 56:4-5)?  None shall lose their reward, for our Lord and Savior has overcome the circumcision of Moses!

Me:  I see.  But, umm, how do you explain the whole Adam and Eve thing, you know?

Ghost:  In the beginning man was created with the woman and together they were commanded to multiply and replenish the earth and to become one flesh.  Thus saith the Lord, By my word I can raise a righteous seed among unions of the same or different kinds, for to some it is given to procreate and reproduce, and to others it is given to bear the vessels of the Lord by other means.  I made Adam and Eve in my image, in my likeness ― that is, to bear my countenance in their visages, which image is that of a faithful love; for God is love, and is He not faithful?

Before I could say anything else, the heavens opened and choirs of angels descended in glory, singing a new song, their faces shining with the sun's own light:

Come to the Well of Jehovah
   and drink!  Come,
bring your wedding baskets
   filled with lilies and spikenard
and dance before the evening stars.

Amen.