[Above: Wall painting in Deir el-Medina, Valley of the Kings]

The Times of the Gentiles Fulfilled

   I am the first-born,
   the light of the sky.
   I breathe in the presence
   of a powerful god . . . .
   My breath is like a child to me.

   ― Egyptian Book of the Dead, "Giving Breath to Osiris"

The Times of the Patriarchs (from Abraham to Christ) lasted roughly 2000 years.

The Times of the Gentiles (from Christ to today) lasted roughly 2000 years.

So what's next?  Well, it depends.  What do you believe was in the beginning, for "the first shall be last, and the last shall be first."

​It is my opinion that the constellation Aquarius was anciently associated with the Tribe of Ephraim, and speaks to Ephraim's destiny (since there are 12 Tribes of Israel and 12 constellations in the Zodiac, is there a correspondence?).

In Egyptian mythology, Aquarius was identified with the flooding of the Nile river (which happened seasonally).  The banks of the Nile were said to flood when Aquarius put his jar into the river, bringing the spring.

The Chinese have a tradition that Aquarius's water jar is "the Army of Yu-Lin."  Yu-Lin means feathers and forests; its army sweeps across the earth.

These images remind me of Jacob's blessing upon his son Joseph:

   Joseph is a fruitful bough,
   even a fruitful bough
   by a well; whose branches
   run over the wall.

(Gen. 49:22)

The NIV is a little clearer:  "Joseph is a fruitful vine, a fruitful vine near a spring, whose branches climb over a wall."

You see, Ephraim (Joseph's heir) spread over the walls of the well like water flooding the earth, his posterity becoming a fulness of nations (i.e., gentiles).

The dawning of the Age of Aquarius is the turning of the wheel.  If you're not familiar with astrological ages, just know they represent spirals of time that are tied to the 12 signs of the Zodiac based on the earth's 26,000 year cycle of precession.  Each "age" lasts roughly 2,000 years.

Christ inaugurated the Age of Pisces ("I will make you fishers of men"), and now we are entering the Age of Aquarius, which symbolizes the baptisms of water and fire (the two streams poured out of Aquarius's jar).

We see familiar motifs in the creation account, when the Lord created light and divided the waters.  We are back at the beginning.

The Millennium represents the culmination of another cycle, returning the earth to Eden.

But before the Millennium, the earth is going to experience a cataclysm, even as a woman in travail who experiences a difficult childbirth.

[Above: Stele of Akhenaten, depicting the king and his queen, Nefertiti, beneath the sun-god Aten] 

Calamity

   I have traveled through the tomb,
   dark and lonely ground.
   I am here now.
   I have come.

   ― Egyptian Book of the Dead, "Coming Forth and Passing Through"

The beginning of this dispensation began ominously, with a warning, as the angel told Joseph Smith that the earth "shall burn as an oven" and consume the wicked; the angel quoted the prophet Joel at length, saying the sun shall be darkened in a day of "fire and pillars of smoke" (Joel 2:30).

Then, in 1831, the Lord spoke of a coming calamity:

   Wherefore, I the Lord,
   knowing the calamity
   which should come
   upon the inhabitants
   of the earth, called upon
   my servant Joseph Smith, Jun.,
   and spake unto him
   from heaven.

(D&C 1:17)

What is the "calamity" the Lord is referring to?  If there's a global disaster on its way, what is it?

Well, ironically the "calamity" coincides with, and is integral to, the earth's graduation from a telestial to a terrestrial glory ― just as a mother's painful contractions serve to bring the baby down the birth canal.  These are related; it's one of the reasons it's both a great ― and dreadful ― day.

We needn't be shocked when the earth shakes like a baby's rattle.  The Lord is sending His servants out for the last time to prepare the vineyard before it takes fire:

   This is the last time
   that I shall nourish my vineyard;
   for the end is nigh at hand . . . .
   And then cometh the season
   and the end; and my vineyard
   will I cause to be burned
   with fire.

(Jacob 5:77)

So there is going to be an end (even though we know there is no end, neither beginning).  But we can consider this an end of the current chapter of the earth.  We will have finished another cycle.

In preparation for the end, the Lord is shedding upon the hearts of men and women more light and truth than ever; more seems to be pouring out every day, as if the windows of heaven have sprung a leak.

While there is much I am still learning ― and though I have but the spiritual vocabulary of a toddler ― let me share a few things I have learned, in the same spirit that God has entrusted me with these things.

[Tomb of Inherkau, "The great cat of Heliopolis killing the enemy of the sun, Apophis."]

Have You Heard of Apophis?

   Hor, justified, Son of One . . . 
   Master of the Secrets,
   God's priest . . .
   May your soul live.
​
   ― "Breathing Permit of Hôr," from Fragment I of the Joseph Smith Papyri, translated by Rhodes, 2002.

​In Egyptian mythology, the Great Serpent Apophis (also called Apep) is the great enemy of the gods.  Apophis is always trying to thwart the gods' eternal progress through the heavens (sound familiar?).

Apophis's plan is not complicated: he wishes to kill Ra and prevent the sunrise, thereby plunging the world back into chaos and darkness.  

Because of the Serpent's evil design, the Egyptians associated Apophis with earthquakes, disorder, storms, darkness, and destruction.  Your classic bad guy, basically.

The Egyptian religion tells of how gods and goddesses united to defeat Apophis and restore order, overcoming the forces of chaos and extending light into the universe.

In the Egyptian Book of the Dead (Spell 17), there is a depiction of the god Mau (who holds the secrets of eternal life) defending the Tree of Life from Apophis.  You can see this in the image, above: Mau is depicted as a cat.

Gods and snakes and the Tree of Life: this iconography predates the writing of the Book of Genesis, which adopted a similar motif in its Garden of Eden story.

But in the Egyptian account, Mau mortally wounds Apep with a knife, cutting the snake into pieces.

But there's a problem with snakes who regrow lost limbs: they are relentless and return; the darkness is never destroyed, only kept at bay.

You see, the Egyptian gods defeated the Serpent every night, but during the day (as Ra sailed across the sky in his ship), Apophis would slowly regenerate and was ready to resume the war at dusk.

The story highlighted the eternal seesaw between light and dark ― one we continue to experience today.

[Above, an engraving from the Book of Gates, in the tomb of Ramses I, 1290 B.C.]

Nibley, Of Course

In the picture, above, notice how Apophis (the Great Serpent) boxes in the light surrounding Ra, wishing to prevent its radiance from spreading outward.

It illustrates the way the chaos is always searching for cracks and seams through which to get in.  And the darkness would succeed, too, if not for the light-bringers who traverse creation, carrying the eternal Flame.

According to the earliest accounts found in the Egyptian Coffin Texts, Apophis existed in the dark waters before the light of creation (the ben-ben) dawned.  Ever since he has sought to extinguish the light and plunge us back into the void.

​The Egyptian priesthood had various rituals to assist in preserving the light against the forces of oblivion; these rituals symbolized the overthrow of Apophis, representing the never-ending struggle between good and evil, order and chaos.

I first learned about Apophis from reading Hugh Nibley's book, The Message of the Joseph Smith Papyri: An Egyptian Endowment (2nd Ed.).

In Nibley's book, I was intrigued with the depiction of Apophis (see below); Nibley explains how Apophis is coiling around the familiar four canopic figures (representing the four elements from which the human body is composed, or its vital organs).

See how Apophis is present in all of our members: he passes through us, just as we must pass through him.

Nibley commented that "according to the Egyptians, all things must pass [through Apophis] to be reborn."  (Nibley, Egyptian Endowment, p. 93).

As we shall shortly see, the earth itself is traveling through the coils of Apophis as she winds her way through the Milky Way galaxy.

The coming calamity is related to the earth's tumultuous journey as she encounters some difficult neighbors.

The Sign of the Son of Man

Joseph Smith taught that prior to the Lord's return, the earth's atmosphere will become congested to the point that light from the sun cannot travel through it, preventing even a rainbow from forming.  (History of the Church, 6:254; from a discourse given by Joseph Smith on Mar. 10, 1844.)

The fact that the sun is "darkened" is a bad sign.  Joseph commented:

"There will be . . . signs in the heavens above and on the earth beneath, the sun turned into darkness and the moon to blood, earthquakes in divers places, the seas heaving beyond their bounds; then will appear one grand sign of the Son of Man in heaven.  But what will the world do?  They will say it is a planet, a comet, etc.  But the Son of Man will come as the sign of the coming of the Son of Man, which will be as the light of the morning cometh out of the east."  (History of the Church, 5:337; from a discourse given by Joseph Smith on Apr. 6, 1843.)
 
Joseph Smith's end-time views appear to align with the "Shiva Hypothesis," also called Coherent Catastrophism.  (FYI, Shiva was the Hindu god of destruction ― another bad sign.)

Catastrophism postulates that global natural disasters, such as extinction events (sorry dinosaurs!), happen at regular intervals because of the motion of the Sun and planets in relation to the Milky Way and other celestial bodies.

In Nibley's book (see the figure below), we find our friend Apophis at it again.  Nibley remarks, "The serpent (Apophis), attempting to arrest the eternal progression of the subject (here represented by the scarab 'Ra' of 'becoming,' or transition, and the heavenly wings), is smitten and rendered helpless by seven deadly knives." (Nibley, Egyptian Endowment, p. 179).

In the Egyptian myths, Apophis is slain by being cut into pieces.  As you can see in the image, the snake is severed into seven pieces, with seven knives.  Why is the number seven significant?

Is it any wonder God has warned us: He has charted the earth's course through the heavens, and knowing of our current trajectory through the galaxy, is trying to prepare us for a catastrophic celestial event, which the ancient prophets foretold.

We find the coming destruction on the earth's itinerary as a consequence of it traveling towards the higher heavens; all of this is calendared like clockwork, set in motion before the world began, foreseen by God and the faithful.

Ouroboros

   Let there be prepared for me
   a seat in the boat of the Sun
   on the day wheron the god saileth.
   
   ― Egyptian Book of the Dead, "A Hymn to Ra" 
​
You thought the snake in the garden of Eden was alone?  He's got company!  We've talked about Apophis, and now I wish to mention another serpent, Ouroboros.  These snakes appear to represent, like Satan, the archetypical Snake who introduced death into the world.

In ancient Egypt (and later Greece) the serpent Ouroboros is curiously depicted with its tail in its mouth, forming a circle, eternally devouring itself.

As you can imagine, Ouroboros symbolizes the unity of all things, the eternal cycle of destruction and re-creation, life and death and rebirth.

Ouroboros reminds us of God's nature (a nature we've inherited).

   The course of the Lord
   is one eternal round.

(1 Nephi 10:19)

God tears down in order to build; He burns the vineyard to bring forth new life from its soil.

   Who buildeth up
   at his own will and pleasure;
   and destroyeth
   when he pleases.

(D&C 63:4)

The Egyptians understood that God encompasses both Day and Night, creation and destruction, life and death.  For Christians, we equate these as the Keys that Christ holds over His dominion.

Created to become Christs ourselves, we are destined to wield the Keys of the Kingdom, just as He does.  We call this the power of eternal lives.  But one cannot possess eternal lives without also possessing eternal deaths.  For this reason the apostle Paul calls Jesus "the Lord both of the dead and living" (Romans 14:9).

The Egyptian term Duat is usually translated as "Underworld," but originally, the meaning of the word referred to the starry heavens; only later did it it become associated with the Underworld. (Nibley, Egyptian Endowment, p. 202.)

I think it is significant that the Egyptians linked the celestial stars to the Underworld: up is down; we rise through descent.

"It is not always possible to discern with certainty whether certain terms apply particularly to heaven, to earth, or to both."  (Nibley, page 202 of the Egyptian Endowment).

So there we have it: earth is heaven and heaven is earth; it's a mess.  Life and death become one: new life is found through death; over and over, one eternal round.

So when we read in the scriptures about the coming of a future "new heaven and new earth," we might wonder what it really means.

You see, it's easy to hear about the elements melting with fervent heat and to interpret these prophecies as saying the earth is going to be an entirely different place.

But, surprise!  The prophet Ether taught that the new heaven and the new earth "shall be like the old save the old have passed away, and all things have become new" (Ether 13:9).

But if things will "be like the old," then what will have changed?  What is going to be "new?"

[Above: Ouroboros (detail), from the tomb of Tutankhamun; notice how the pharaoh's path is encompassed about by Ouroboros]

The Veil Shall Burst
​
​"There is a great deal of unmapped country within us.”

   ― George Eliot

Ouroboros is an appropriate symbol for our eternal progression.  We are constantly being recast into new roles, new forms, and new creatures who are given new names.

​We always talk about mankind's eternal progression, but no one seems to contemplate the earth's own progression.

The earth's spiritual evolution is marked by its celestial journey through the heavens; her place in the cosmos influences the extent and nature of the celestial energy she receives from her governing stars.

This was hinted at by Joseph Smith in his hierarchical order of the universe, where stars and planets energetically "govern" or rule the spiritual evolution of other stars and planets (see, Abraham 3 and Facsimile 2).

This interplanetary power is called by Joseph "Kae-e-vanrash."  Presiding over the earth in our cosmic hierarchy is an interstellar godhead; according to Joseph, this cosmic Trinity is comprised of three planetary star powers: "Oliblish, Enish-go-on-dash, and Kaii-ven-rash, are the three grand central powers that govern all the other creations."  (Alphabet of the Egyptian Language.)

Have you ever noticed that our spiraling galaxy resembles a coiled snake?  The earth has its own struggle against Apophis, blazing onward against the chaos, cutting the snake into seven pieces (i.e., heavens).

A Redemptive Cosmology

   The moon’s unveiling. . .
   now it is returning
   flooding back to me:
   the taste of colostrum
       oh! thy milk
       is marrow in my bones

   ― "Unveil"

​​To state things plainly, the earth is currently ascending Jacob's Ladder.  There are seven rungs on the ladder (meaning seven heavens).  We are in the process of stepping from the third rung to the fourth.

Apophis being "slain" and severed into seven pieces is a type and shadow of our eternal progression through the seven heavens, overcoming death and darkness at each stage (as represented in truncated form in the LDS temple ceremony).  We are traversing a celestial Menorah.
 
I say there are seven heavens, but that is not quite right.  There are actually heavens and worlds without number (at least to our understanding).  However, the heavens are grouped together in sevens, like a musical scale (an octave).

We are in the middle of the current Octave.  In a far-future day, when we pass beyond the Seventh Heaven, we shall begin again at the bottom of a new Octave above our own, and so on, forever (as hinted at in D&C 130:10).

As the Lord told Moses, "As one earth shall pass away, and the heavens thereof, even so shall another come; and there is no end" (Moses 1:38).

The Fall describes the earth's descent phase, by which I mean, its condescension from a higher Octave.  Prior to the Fall, the Lord commissioned the Sons of God (the noble and great ones), even the exalted Fathers, the Kokaubeam, or Great Lights, saying:

   We will go down
   [condescend to the lower heavens],
   for there is space there,
   and we will take
   of these materials
   and we will make an earth
   whereon these may dwell.

(Abr. 3:24)

The earth responded to the Lord's call.  The earth was sort of essential to the whole operation.  You see, down here we've got eternal, but unsheltered (by which I mean, disembodied), lowly spirits trapped in this heavenly Heptagon.  We needed an earth from which to materialize; our incarnation was not possible in the celestial realms where the Elohim dwell in everlasting burnings.

And so the earth left its exalted orbit near the throne of God and entered into a galactic journey that would, over many eons of time, bring it back ― having completed a circuit (or one eternal round), to become the abode of God. 

The purpose of Christ's condescension was to create a Gate in the gateless barrier that separates us from those above.  In order for us to pass between this glory to the next, we must all pass through the singular Gate of baptism (birth, I mean).  There is no other way.

We were created "from the dust" of the earth, meaning that our bodies share the qualities and elements of the earth.  We incarnate in physical bodies that parallel the planet's.  Her glory becomes our own.  Those born in the Millennium, for example, will receive bodies that are terrestrial, commensurate with the earth's paradisiacal glory, and so on.

And so, in great love and sacrifice, the earth condescended in order to, specifically, provide the Fathers and Mothers of the Elohim (3 Nephi 1:14) with tabernacles of lesser glory, similar to those of the incarnating spirits in this Octave, to bring them up into God's higher kingdoms.

So in a way, Jesus is the Stargate.  He is the door between glories.  The Gate is rebirth into a higher glory through the resurrection.  Our elemental bodies delimit our cosmic mobility; impurity cannot dwell in God's habitation.

As Lehi taught, the Children (Adam and Eve) "Fell" to provide physical bodies for "the family of all the earth" (2 Nephi 2:20).  Albeit, the fallen Kokaubeam who followed Lucifer were forbidden from taking bodies, sort of (a sidebar I'll reserve for another time).

And thus the earth entered a confluence of spiritual streams allowing Christ to create a bridgehead, a portal, across which the spirits from these heavens could ascend in the Great Dance.  By "Great Dance," I am talking about the spirits here receiving bodies in which they may enter into the ultimate adventure: the New and Everlasting Covenant of God.

For those entering into the New and Everlasting Covenant (many did so long ago, before this lifetime; others are being offered another opportunity; and so on it goes: it is difficult to not get caught up in the intricacies), we have a rare opportunity to be grafted into the Tree of Life.  This is accomplished through being born into one of God's kingdoms through the baptism of water and spirit and blood (referring to our past and future incarnations) (Moses 6:59-63).  (Yes, I know we're told our resurrected bodies won't have blood; but Christ's mortal body bled from every pore, so).

Because of Christ's redemption, those who are born again become freed from the captivity of death and hell, and are thereby able to escape the event horizon of this heaven and enter into the next.

"Beam Me Up, Scotty!"

   To see a World in a Grain of Sand
   And a Heaven in a Wild Flower 
   Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand 
   And Eternity in an hour

     ― William Blake, "Auguries of Innocence"

​Now, I mentioned before that the Great Serpent is a fitting representation of the spiraling path the earth is taking through the galaxy, passing through the mythical Seven Trials of Esfandiyar.

In the ancient temple mysteries of Mithraism (50 B.C.), temple initiates had to ascend through seven grades of initiation; the initiates were called syndexioi ("united by the handshake").

In the New and Everlasting Covenant, we are initiates ascending God's own Body, or temple.  At the same time, God's spirit, or light, is ascending through us.

St. Jerome described the seven ascending orders of the Syndexioi:

   1.  (Lowest Order).  The raven, represented by a caduceus (the snake staff carried by the god Hermes, the messenger).  This level was symbolized by the planet Mercury.

   2.  Bridegroom.  Represented by a veil, and associated with Venus.

   3.  Warrior.  Represented by a lance, and associated with Mars.

   4.  Lion.  Represented by a laurel / crown, and associated with Jupiter.

   5.  Scholar.  Represented by a Phrygian cap for wisdom, and associated with the Moon.

   6.  Sun-Runner.  Represented by a torch, and associated with the Sun.

   7.  (Highest Order).  Father.  Represented by a shepherd's staff (yes!) and associated with Saturn (please note that Saturn's place was above the sun, interestingly).

In the initiation for the Sixth Level, the Sun-Runners, the initiate was escorted through a solar journey around the temple, representing our path through the cosmos.

The earth is not alone in sky: she is situated within a solar system that is governed by our Sun.  Together with the moon and planets, we form a solar family.

The Sun has a large toroidal field of energy which astrophysicists call the heliosphere.  Like the earth's magnetic field, the Sun's heliosphere shields us and buffers us from the direct impact of harmful solar electromagnetic radiation.

I cannot be the only one who has noticed that the heliosphere acts as a sort of womb for what we call 'the solar system'; the planets are like children to be birthed.

[The god Atum in the tomb of Rameses I in the Valley of the Kings, pictured fighting the serpent Apophis, the enemy of the sun]

Millennial Midwives

   Charting
   migratory paths
   predictably across millennia
   as whales journeying
   thru firmament's fire

   ― "Life Signs"

We have a proactive role to play in birthing the New Earth as midwives.

In the Book of Revelation, we read of a Woman giving birth to a son, which represents the Kingdom of God.

   The woman being with child,
   cried, travailing in birth,
   and pained to be delivered.

(Revelation 12:2)

This is not going to be an easy birth.  There are complications.  We are midwives sent by God to assist in delivering the Kingdom of God to earth.  In case I haven't made it clear, earth is our ticket back to the Elohim.  Those who are unable to abide the earth's terrestrial (and ultimately celestial) glory will have to find a home elsewhere (meaning they will have to incarnate in the future on other planetary bodies of lesser glory).

Things are going to get messy; so how does the woman in Revelation escape with her infant?  Well, she had help.  Specifically, we read that the woman was assisted by (1) two wings of a great eagle (Rev. 12:14), and (2) the earth herself.

   And the earth helped
   the woman,
   and the earth opened
   her mouth and swallowed
   up the flood which
   the dragon cast
   out of his mouth.

(Revelation 12:16)

Recall the "dragon" has seven heads.  The Woman must escape the "flood which the dragon cast out of his mouth."  What kind of dragon-fire are we talking about, here?

What is a dragon, but a winged serpent?  We find woven throughout prophecy the image of the Serpent (dragon), and thinking of Apophis, we see it now in a new light.

Even though I am taking artistic liberties with this account (my apologies to the apostle John), pretend this describes Apophis seeking to arrest the birth of the Woman's son, or to kill the boy as soon as he is born, when he is most vulnerable, so he cannot grow.

The Woman, though, is protected by an eagle.  What does that represent?  Wings, remember, symbolize power and movement (D&C 77:4).

The earth herself comes to the rescue.  Picture the wings of the earth unfolding as we travel through the galaxy, waging a mighty contest against the forces of darkness and entropy.

Like the woman, we will require a "refuge" from the forces of planetary destabilization that will occur before the end.

In the Parable of the Space-Kingdoms (my name) found in D&C 88:51-61, the master visits each "field" (planet) in turn at separate hours, so they might all enjoy:

   the light of the countenance
   of the Lord.

(D&C 88:56)

To me this imagery screams astronomy.  The Lord concludes the parable by saying that each kingdom (planet) has appointed "in its hour, and in its time, and in its season" a path decreed by God (D&C 88:61).

The path of the earth is charted through the various dominions, thrones, and powers of heaven, each in its time.  Just as we would die if the Lord appeared in glory in our present state, the earth cannot endure the greater celestial glories she will encounter on her journey unless she is translated (receives a paradisiacal glory).

At the end of the path we find the archetypical Light, God, who is "the Bright Morning Star" (Revelation 22:16).

But St. Peter, knowing the mystery, said:

   [To] the word of the prophets . . . 
   you will do well to pay attention,
   as to a light shining
   in a dark place,
   until the day dawns
   and the morning star
   rises in your hearts.

(2 Peter 1:19, Berearn Translation)

Based on what Peter knew, maybe we should stop looking to the sky for signs of Christ's return, and start looking inward, to Him "rising in our hearts."

Conclusion: "The Ravager"

Isaiah, who spoke of all things concerning the destiny of the house of Israel, spoke of "the ravager."  He compared it to a hot flame or coal.

   It is I who create the smith who fans the flaming coals,
   forging weapons to suit his purpose;
   it is I who create the ravager to destroy.
   Whatever weapon is devised against you,
   it shall not succeed.

(Isaiah 54:16-17, Gileadi Translation)

In the King James Version, the ravager is translated, "the waster."  This same Ravager / Waster is called, by Jeremiah, "the spoiler."

   O daughter of my people,
   gird thee with sackcloth . . . 
   for the spoiler
   shall suddenly come upon us.

(Jeremiah 6:26)

What is this Spoiler?  It is describing astronomical events that will destroy the wicked.  It is unavoidable.

   Because the spoiler is come
   upon her, even upon Babylon,
   [that] her mighty men
   are taken, every one
   of their bows is broken . . . . 
   The broad walls of Babylon
   shall be utterly broken,
   and her high gates
   shall be burned with fire.

(Jeremiah 51:56, 58)

John saw these events, and gave the destroyer a name: Abaddon (Revelation 9:11).

The Hebrew term Abaddon (אֲבַדּוֹן) means "destruction" or "doom."  Its Greek equivalent is Apollyon (Ἀπολλύων), meaning "Destroyer."

This appears to be "an angel of the abyss" or bottomless pit, a heralder of the ruin of the world.

I believe what these prophets are trying to describe is an astronomical event that rocks the earth from its axis to the point giant fissures in the earth will erupt, flooding the earth with molten fire.

Earthquakes shall bring us to our knees.  Solar flares and other celestial phenomena will weaken earth's geomagnetic shield as the earth emerges into a new heaven as a baby being born, having passed through the valley of the shadow of death.

At last, after much travail, she will have defeated Apophis once more.

"God, Are You There?"

   How does one emulsify
      past and future?
   Grief exists only now
      as a fleece, a blindfold

   ― "Lanolin"

I keep telling myself as I write these epistles to make them shorter and more concise (I know your lives are busy).  I apologize that brevity is not one of my gifts.

I have enjoyed writing the Approaching Zion Series; I have one or two more posts forthcoming to conclude that Series (about loving our enemies and the Millennium), but as I was working on a draft, writing about the great serpent Apep, I felt to pause and change topics.

I wish to say a few things about parting the veil.  I have appreciated your feedback and comments and have felt my heart grow closer to yours.  I love you and pray for everyone who reads this blog, that the Lord may lighten your burden and prosper your path.

In that spirit this post arose out of the blue.  I know many of us wish for a richer communion with Christ and are often frustrated by the flesh.

I recall reading once about President Spencer W. Kimball's wrestle with the Lord, who said, "What I wanted and felt I must have was an assurance that I was acceptable to the Lord.  And the assurance did not come.  I threw myself on the ground and wept and prayed and pleaded with the Lord to let me know where I stood.  How I prayed!  How I suffered!" (Edward and Andrew Kimball, Spencer W. Kimball (1977), pp. 189-195, edited for brevity.)

The struggle is real; I am willing to take a leap of faith, if you'll jump with me.

"Let There Be Light"

Recently I asked the Lord to teach me how to create with light.

In the beginning God said:

   (1) Let
   (2) there be
   (3) light.

(Genesis 1:3)

   (1)  The word "let" was not a command.  It was an open invitation.  God spoke and the light responded ― not by force or compulsion, but in faith.

The lesson here is that God did not impose light; He did not act unilaterally.  It was a process that allowed for the elements and intelligence to respond, to act.  It was mutual.

The light responded to Him because it sensed His love and warmth.

   (2)  The next part, "there be," indicates God desired to create something that was different, new.  He wished for light to exist in the void, to extend into chaos.

The lesson here is that it is okay for us to desire something different, new.  We are weavers of God's garment from the threads of chaos.  God's faith is so great, nothing is impossible to Him.

We are co-creators with God in speaking into the void, and saying, "Let there be light."  Light moves in response to the exchange of grace.

   (3)  What was the light referring to?  What is the light that shines in darkness?  It is intelligence, or the light of truth.

A Conversation with the Lord

​   We summoned Him to earth
   our Savior Lord of All
   His broken heart
​   through which we burst
   Gehenna's gateless wall.

      ― "Jesus is All"
​
Last week I had a conversation with the Lord that went something like this:

Lord:  "Doubt not, fear not."

Me:  "How is doubt manifesting in my life, Father?  Show me, what do I fear, so I may overcome it?"

Lord:  "What do you desire above all else?"

Me:  "To know You!"

Lord:  "No, what do you want more than anything?"

Me:   ". . . "

I was puzzled.  What was my heart’s true desire?  Beneath the layers of self-deception, what did my soul hunger for most?

I imagined myself as a sand upon the seashore, one of countless others; I saw myself in Christ's palm, and His finger touched my grain of sand so that I shone with His light like one of the Brother of Jared's stones.

Lord:  "You want to be loved."

I knew as soon as I heard those words they were true.  I have long harbored a feeling of unworthiness, and have constructed so much of my life around that belief, as if to prove it.

We become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Me [crying]:  "Well, of course I do!  But isn’t that a good thing?!  Isn’t your love the greatest thing in the world?  I want to be loved by You."

Lord:  "No.  While I do love you, your greatest desire, your greatest need, is to be loved . . . by yourself."

Self-love?  I don't want to be selfish; give me a martyr's love, not the narcissistic, egotistical self-love of the world.

But then the Lord taught me a sobering truth.

Lord:  "Child, you alone possess the power to fill the emptiness you feel within you; you must learn to love yourself even as you love me.  To know me, you must know the true love of self."

Okay, but how?  Isn’t loving me God's job?  I thought I was supposed to 'lose my life' ― what did He mean?

Me:  "Lord, if I knew how to love myself, don’t you think I would have by now?  How can I love something so unworthy, so imperfect?  How can you?"

Love Letter
a poem
​
You tried too hard
(I loved that about you)
uncomfortable in creaseless new leather
, self-conscious
a wooden leg wishing to belong
longing for company on crowded decks
seen unseen
 
Your heart was a treasure chest
waiting to be opened
, shared
but it remained buried
beneath the sounds of scurvy-sores
the musket-fire muffled in a tub of tears
 
     You loved everyone
     , more than you did yourself
 
You relished the idea of life
more than the living of it
, so I have placed this message in a bottle
and cast it upon the tide to find you
 
As two whales mating
(I do not know the mechanics of such things)
I wanted you to know the feel
of weight and water and whalesong
, of hope harpooned
in the sea spray of a mighty and joyous love
 
     This is the message I send myself
     , from myself
     my echo-Being
     loving all past versions
     of me

'Veiled' Meaning​

   Where veil can be pierced
   upon carnelian-churned tides
   spreading God’s garment
   we wait

   ― "Dew from Heaven"

It seems like the Lord is always trying to get us to lift some kind of veil from our faces.  "And their scales of darkness shall begin to fall from their eyes" (2 Nephi 30:6).  

What is the "veil?"  The scriptures use the term "veil" to refer to something that separates us from God's presence.  But is this a literal barrier, or is it an illusion created by unbelief?  Or both?

Well, for starters, there is not just one veil: there are veils within veils within veils that darken our minds.

​But the "veil shall be rent," the Lord promises, so we may truly "know that I AM" (D&C 67:10).

Wouldn't it be nice to part the veil?  We've inherited a Restoration that started with the First Vision theophany, followed by an angelic visit in Joseph's bedroom, and then an appearance from a resurrected John the Baptist.

With such an auspicious beginning, it makes us wonder how the Restoration became so tepid today.

We are naturally seeking for something more.  Over the years I have read a lot of books on how to pierce the veil ― you know the ones, the "Second Comforter" type books trying to teach us to have our baptism of fire or receive the visitation of Jesus.

I confess these books don't appeal to me much anymore; I haven't found them very helpful.

I appreciate the authors' efforts, I do.  But though my bookshelves are littered with books by people trying to help us "see" God (often claiming personal experience), I have not found Him in their pages.

I confess Mormon mysticism is a guilty pleasure of mine: who can resist a bit of spiritual voyeurism, reading about other people's spiritual visions, Near Death Experiences, angelic visitations, and Great White Throne ceremonies?

Perhaps you've experienced more success with these books than I have, packed as they are with spiritual formulas and flow-charts and recipes for parting the veil.

"A bit of flour, a splash of salt, don't forget to fast and pray, set the oven to 350 degrees precisely, and if the sun rises at 6:03 a.m. on a day the Yellow Crested Warbler leaves its nest and sings its mating song. . . ."

I guess my own experience has shown me God doesn't work that way.  At least not in my life.  The gospel I believe in is not like a dishwasher machine operator's manual (and if it were, we might as well become deists).

Operating a machine is not the same as having a relationship; relationships require a lot more hand washing (John 13:5-6).

For me, a relationship with a living God is far more messy and complicated, with far more bumps and bruises and sleeping on the couch than the books describe.

A Matter of Spirit

"Reading the experience of others, or the revelation given to them, can never give us a comprehensive view of our condition and true relation to God.  Knowledge of these things can only be obtained by experience."

(Joseph Smith, History of the Church, 6:50–51; from a discourse given on Oct. 9, 1843.)

We read those words from Joseph Smith and think, "Ah, yes, an experiential faith.  That's what I want."

But what kind of experiences, exactly, with God are we seeking? 

Often we want, deep down, materialistic manifestations of God.  We don't think of it as seeking for "signs" necessarily; it would just be nice to have a confirmation we're on the right track.

I understand, I really do!  We want some clear evidence (an angel, an audible voice from heaven) to know where we stand, or that we're on the right path ― as if getting truth from a four-winged creature's lips is more trustworthy than that of the still, small voice.  (At least then we'd know we're not crazy!)

The Pharisees preferred a tactile religion, too: one of carnal commandments and outward ordinances, based on holy lineages and priesthood pedigrees.  Very flesh-and-bone.  But faith is spirit-and-light.

The law of Moses gave the people things they could measure, feel, touch, and see.  Their temples were filled with bronze oxen and animal offal and the smell of incense.  Imagine it!  The Levite temple was a feast for the five physical senses.

But focused on the physical aspects of their faith as they were, they were blind to Jesus (the spiritual light of the world).

Yes, it would be comforting to have a solid spirituality filled with holy grails rather than the flimsiness of faith. 

And this is why, ironically, our churches often have the unfortunate effect of lessening our faith (rather than increasing it) by encouraging us to rely on materialistic faith-substitutes ― what Nephi calls 'carnal security' (2 Nephi 28:21).

Walking by faith leaves so much open to interpretation; we begin to question our own spiritual experiences and discernment.  Give us the word of God on concrete stone tablets, carved by God's own finger.

Or give us the certainty of a high priest who takes two goats on Yom Kippur and makes a sacrifice to God to atone for our sins, and then our spirits will know peace.

But the faith-alternative?  To become "a living sacrifice" (Romans 12:1)?  To walk by faith?  Why must we walk by faith's fire rather than by the light of Babylon's more-sure bonfire?

And so we remain like children, spiritually, dependent upon external evidences and authorities.

We keep looking for God outside of ourselves; in talking donkeys and flaming swords and in men at walnut pulpits.

But to grow into the stature of Christ as men and women of God requires us to step away from the things that conform to this world (Romans 12:2).

The Church, for some reason, seems to prefer a Levitical approach, building temples and Gospel Living apps for the iPhone ― a decidedly materialistic approach to God not unlike our ancestors who built the Tower of Babel to reach heaven (perhaps this is why it lacks the power of Melchizedek.)

For the veil is not parted by our carnal (or natural) mind, but by faith (D&C 67:12).

In place of a living faith, our leaders suggest we offer the Lord our "effort," the lifelessness of wings that cannot fly.  And so we go on acting like barnyard chickens pecking for scratch instead of behaving as the Lord's eagles.

Paul taught (HERE'S THE IMPORTANT PART TO REMEMBER), all "veils are done away in Christ" (2 Corinthians 3:14).

I repeat: all veils are done away in Christ.

Beware of those who wish to impose curtains between us and God (particularly if they claim they can part the curtain if we collude in their priestcraft).

This is why I have no checklists; I have no patented priesthoods or keywords to sell that will cause Kolob to take notice.  No Five Points of Fellowship with which to greet an angel.

All I have is my faith and an ocean of love.  But that has yielded a more abundant spiritual life than all the rest ever could, if you can believe it.

Because there is no Yellow Brick Road to follow; there is only our faith in the promises of the living God that can lead us to a better world.

Don't Let Go

The way the gospel is often preached, we might view ourselves as a child on a road trip who is left at a gas station when their parents forget about them and drive off in the family station wagon.

But our Father is not forgetful.

The story of Jesus feeding the five thousand in John 6 contains an important lesson for us.

Just think of what the Savior can do with our lives when compared with what He could do with five loaves of barley bread and two tiny fishes.

You might think a bit of bread and a couple of small fishes would be inadequate to feed the multitude; His disciples certainly did.  Likewise, you may think there's not enough love to fill the void you feel within.  I certainly have.

But I say, when blessed by God's hand, there was enough to spare, until all were filled.

   And Jesus took the loaves;
   and when he had
   given thanks, he distributed
   to the disciples,
   and the disciples to them
   that were set down.

(John 6:11)

None were missed.  No one was skipped, from the greatest to the least.  All partook.

Yet we think God will forget about us in our desperate hour?  Hardly.  We have His personal attention.

But the most important part, for me, is what happened at the end of the story.  What did Jesus do with the leftovers?

After everyone had eaten, there remained basketfuls of remnants.  Did Jesus discard the remnants?  Does Jesus waste anything?  Did He cast the scraps aside?  No!

Look (and apply these words to us):

   When they were filled,
   He said unto his disciples,
   Gather up the fragments
   that remain,
   that nothing be lost.

(John 6:12)

If Jesus cares so much about bread, so that "nothing be lost," do you not think He cares far more about us, His own children?

We are not forgotten; we are not cast off.  We shall be "gathered up" into His embrace.

Imagine hearing your child was injured, wouldn't you rush to their side and clutch them for dear life?  Does not God himself clutch us to His bosom, and heal us every whit?

Have faith that God holds you close, right now, and will never let go.

   My sheep hear my voice,
   and I KNOW THEM,
   and they follow me:

   And I give unto them
   eternal life; and they 
   shall never perish,
   neither shall any man
   pluck them out of my hand.

   My Father, which gave them me,
   is greater than all.

(John 10:28-29)

The very thing you seek, you hold already in your heart.  "Let there be light!"  Ask, and it shall be given.  Knock.

Armageddon for Breakfast

   ​I am disquieted
   Hail strikes the window pane
   Thunder grips my bone
   Stenosis squeezes
   Through my mind
   Curling darkly―
   Gone. I sit
   Holding my eyes
   In my lap

      ―​ "Disquieted"

There's a lot of fear and unease surrounding the end times.  I am not immune to fear myself.  I have to regularly "detox" my spirit after reading what others have written; so much is laced with doom-and-gloom.

There's a growing cottage industry that feeds upon the fear of coming calamity: of nuclear war, civil riots, societal breakdown, market collapse, natural disasters, enemy invaders, earthquakes (just to name a few).  And don't forget about Nibiru!

But the problem with fear is that it makes us want to control the future rather than exercising faith in God's providence.

I once asked the Lord how to best prepare for the end times.  And His answer?  To let go of fear, for fear makes us susceptible to being deceived.

As you know, perfect love casteth out all fear.  And in this we find the solution to our worries.  Fear loves to control; love fears not what is beyond our control.

Several years ago my friend told me about his millionaire uncle who lives in Northern Utah on a huge complex, a prepper-par-excellence.  With his vast wealth, he built his dream homestead in which to weather the end of the world.

His compound is stockpiled to the nines; if the world were to end, he will have a nice view of it, sheltered from the storm behind thick metal gates, surrounded by guns and gasoline drums.

There was a time I would have envied his uncle.  But now I pity him.  Imagine the kind of cage that must be, a burden, having a mindset that is dreaming and waiting for the apocalypse ― while there's a whole world worth saving!

I have decided that, should I live to witness the telestial fireworks, I don't want to be bunkered within a bomb shelter while people suffer outside the walls; I'd rather be running the water line to put out the fire, helping to save as many as possible as long as I draw breath.

Nuclear bombs no longer frighten me: for brighter far than any atomic blast is the searing light of our Savior.  No plague, no flood, no fire can ever separate us from His matchless love. 

And it is well.

Waste Places

   Or the courage of William who conquered
   Harold under the comet

     ― "I Love You, Elder Holland"

My purpose in writing this post is to lend courage to those who are anxious about the last days, so we may face the future with spiritual confidence.

The Lord said to me, "Be not afraid of the waste places; fear not to walk where lions dwell and scorpions tread.... See? The dawn is near: the sky begins to brighten before the appearing of the Sun.  So shall the servants of God shine forth before the coming of their King." (Personal journal entry for July 15, 2024.)

What have we to fear, who are the shining stars of God placed in the firmament of eternity?  Jesus declared, "Ye are the light of the world" (Matt. 5:14).  So let us start acting like it.

The world may burn; we may be trodden down and torn to pieces ― but it is going to be okay!

As the Lord reminded Joseph Smith:

   They can do no more unto you
   than unto me.
   And even if they do unto you
   as they have done unto me,
   blessed are ye.

(D&C 6:29-30)

Owls do not fear the dark.  The Kokaubeam welcome the night so their light may shine all the brighter upon these dreary wastes.

Isaiah prophesied:

   Thy holy cities are a wilderness,
   Zion is a wilderness,
   Jerusalem a desolation.

   Our holy and our beautiful house,
   where our fathers praised thee,
   is burned up with fire:
   and all our pleasant things
   are laid waste.

(Isaiah 64:10-11)

I am sobered by the stark depiction painted in scripture of the last days. 

And yet I am not cowed; I am not discouraged.  Yes, we navigate a spiritual desert, a parched Death Valley.  And yes, these wilderness conditions will only worsen before the end.  But always remember, we ride for the Promised Land.  So ride on!

   For the Lord
   shall comfort Zion:
   he will comfort
   all her waste places;
   and he will make
   her wilderness like Eden,
   and her desert
   like the garden of the Lord.

(Isaiah 51:3)

There is no burn scar upon the earth's breast the Lord cannot heal; there are none of her broken bones he cannot mend with His breath; there are no ruins nor fallen cities He cannot rebuild greater than at first.

Nothing we lose is ever truly lost.

"Tim" someone says, "You paint a rosy picture now, from the comfort of your air conditioned study, surrounded by your leather books and sitting in your soft chair.  But when invading armies pour over the Western front, across California and the Sierra Nevada, and corral us into concentration camps, I think you'll sing a different tune."

So what, then?  Shall we become Rambos and prepare for the Red Dawn?  Shall we fight?  Shall we seek vengeance?  Or shall we follow in the footsteps of Him whose feet did not flee the Via Dolorosa, but who embraced His fate on Calvary's peak even though it cost Him his life?

   Greater love hath no man
   than this: that a man 
   lay down his life
   for his friends.

(John 15:13)

If we love, we will not fear death; and if we no longer fear death, fear shall have no power over us anymore.

A Desert Rose

   Now history watches
   what we do, armed with love alone
   as others seek to steal our freedom in Christ
   hanging by a thin thread

​      ― "I Love You, Elder Holland"

​​Where do we look for courage?  Answer: to the word of the Lord and to the promises of God.

The Lord promised Enoch that in the last days, "great tribulations shall be among the children of men, but my people will I preserve" (Moses 7:61).

I believe it; I believe God will preserve His people, even as fruit is "preserved" by being plucked and bottled ("sealed") ― so too may we be preserved, whether in life or in death, it matters not.  Either way we shall be found with the Lord.

   And the desert shall rejoice,
   and blossom as the rose.

(Isaiah 35:1)

Every rose wants its bloom to last forever; but I say, don't shy away from the Lord's pruning shears; allow Him to clip us and carry us where He will.

We are His roses (for He has worn our thorns); let Him spread our beauty (His light) to the waste places of this earth drained of color.

Because even a blind man can smell the fragrance of a rose.  Let us be roses to them who are too blinded to "see," but who might still catch the Lord's cinnamon-scent upon our petals as we are blown in the wind, above the stink and rot.  Be God's rose.

Do not expect The Way of Holiness to be the scenic route (Isa. 35:8); our path is charted across the worst places, among the worst peoples, so we might call and invite them to join us in a better future.  Be the salt of the earth where others have salted the earth.

We are riding to a future where none shall "hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain: for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea" (Isaiah 11:9).  So ride on!

We are not alone.  Riding at our side we find a great company:

   1. The exalted fathers, including Enoch and his City of Holiness (Moses 7:63)

   2. The 144,000 servants (D&C 77:11) and other translated beings

   3.  The angelic hosts (D&C 77:8), including the righteous of previous dispensations who have passed on but are returning for the Big Event

   4.  The Holy Ghost (D&C 45:57)

   5.  Fellow mortals who are pure in heart (D&C 97:21)

   6.  Watchmen appointed by God (Isaiah 52:8)

   7.  The Davidic Servant (Isaiah 52:13-15)

   8.  Jesus Christ himself (D&C 6:32)

Truly, as in the days of Elisha so shall it be again.

   Fear not:
   for they that be with us
   are more than they
   that be with them.

   And Elisha prayed, and said,
   Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes,
   that he may see.

   And the Lord opened the eyes
   of the young man; and he saw:
   and, behold, the mountain
   was full of horses
   and chariots of fire
   round about Elisha.

(2 Kings 6:16-17)

And it is well.

The Kingdom of Zion is Like. . . ​
​
   A dispensation is a fragile
   potential

​      ― "The Baptist"

Zion is not for perfect people; it is for those who repent and thereby become pure.

Robert Capon said, "Who is in heaven?  People think it is good guys.  There is nobody in heaven but forgiven sinners because there was nobody available to go to heaven except forgiven sinners; and there is nobody in hell except forgiven sinners.  The difference is that in heaven they accept the forgiveness, in hell they reject it."

Zion will be comprised of a motely crew of repentant misfits.

Jesus's parables of the torn garment (Luke 5:36) and of the old wineskins (Matt. 9:17) show that Zion will emerge as a new creation.  Therefore, its citizens must be new creatures.

Zion is not going to be a patchwork of the existing systems and organizations we see today; Zion is not going to be putting lipstick on the Church.

Zion is a mustard seed scattered among all nations growing into a mighty bush that the birds (angels) shall come to nest in.

Zion is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into sixty pounds of flour until it worked all through the dough (Matt. 13:33) (meaning kindreds of the earth), causing them to rise.

Zion is a seeker of lost things: lost pearls, lost coins, lost sheep and lost prodigals.

These parables are teaching us that what God values is strange (hidden) compared to what the world appreciates.

Zion shall not resemble a church, religion, or magisterium ― for it shall bear the image of the Kingdom of God, which the world does not recognize (since it lacks the trappings of the Great and Abominable Church we mistakenly equate with God's kingdom).

For Zion shall arise without mortal hands, and she shall lay waste to the nations and religions of the earth, as Daniel promised:

   The God of heaven
   shall set up a kingdom,
   which shall never be destroyed.
   And it shall break in pieces
   and consume all
   these [other] kingdoms,
   and it shall stand forever, 
   [this] stone [that] was cut
   out of the mountain
   without hands.

(Daniel 2:44-45)

Look for Zion where you least expect to find it.

The Future is in Flux

   Where is the broom,
   my dustpan? I do not
   like this voice
   speaking from the dust

      ― "Cleaning House"
​
I fear we are too fixated on what we think is "going to happen," as if it were fixed.  But the future is always in flux.

Faith, you see, has power to move the mountains of what is to come.

On the eve of prophesied calamity, everyone seems to wonder, "Where should I go?  Where will my family be safe?  What should I pack?"

The example of Jeremiah and Lehi before the destruction of Jerusalem shows there is no single answer.  Some shall continue to do God's work in captivity like Jeremiah; others will wander in the wilderness like Lehi.

It would be nice if there were an oracle we could get clear-cut answers from, as many people seem to treat the Prophet, waiting on him to issue marching orders to return to Jackson County.

But no one can tell us what we should do, personally, except God.

As Joseph Smith said to his Uncle Silas in 1833, "Man can[not] live upon the revelations [given] to another.  [For] the word spoken to Noah was not sufficient for Abraham, or it was not required of him to leave the land of his nativity, and seek an inheritance in a strange county upon the word spoken to Noah."

We speak of the coming calamity as if it were written in stone, as though it were the Battle of Troy or the eruption of Mount Vesuvius.  But faith has the power to create worlds (and futures) unborn; we can shape end-time events through exercising hope in the substance of things not seen.

All that will-be has not been revealed, and what has been revealed is veiled.  The road of faith is fog-filled, yet it is the safest course.  Beware the neon lights that illuminate the broad way, which I consider to be the carnal assurances offered by the Church.

Our faith can breathe new life into the waste places of prophecy, bringing hope to desolation and healing to abomination.

Is not the Lord a Master Painter?  He is not a photographer, but is like Monet.  He creates as well as captures.  He envisions, not only describes.

And I declare the Lord imagines a better future for us than we give Him credit for.

Have faith in Him.  Trust the promises He has made.  He keeps His word.

And it is well.